This document has been set forth to inform my dearly beloved classmates that I, the leader of this artistic movement we call English 344, will create nonpareil and unrivaled pieces of electronic text that have never been known to man. You will all kneel and worship at my feet after having read my various works. Throughout this course I will not even focus on being unequaled, rather I will surpass all other humanoids and transform (not symbolically) into an illustriously divine figure and thus be the example set forth for all to learn. George Mason University professors and the university dean himself will be my apostles; for at one time I learned from them yet, verily I say unto you that I am now a Senior in my final undergraduate semester and no longer in need of education. I am education.
I tell you the truth; I will create art so dazzling and radiant that you yourself will climax after the experience, similar to when you experience a gained level or completed quest in the Warcraft that is so subtly labeled a "World." There will be mixtures of all genres; there will be mystery madness, science fiction that expresses technical writing, Japanese animation you've never seen, and poetry composed of the Ten Steps to Help You Write Better Essays & Term Papers, APA Version: I Wish I'd Had This When I Was in School by Neil Sawers. In truth, there are no limits to what I will create, but I assure you that you will have numerous media goodies to supplement the standard text. I will take advantage of literary technological advances, and thus my works will not only be accessible to all those who have access to the World Wide Web, rather they will be accessed by all those who have access to the World Wide Web. Google home-pages will be replaced by this. Yes, click on "this." It's a link. Continuing, my art will remix and contain pieces of literature you've never even heard of, but it will no longer contain absurd clichés that I loath. The cliché is my enemy; it is like Sabertooth to my Wolverine, the Joker to my Batman, or rather, and more honestly, it is like Space Jam to my Warner Bros viewing experience.
Steps to do this are not easy to conjure nor will be easily fulfilled. It will take time, focus, and discipline. The following guidelines are a mere outline of what I will do to achieve what I have stated:
1) I simply demand perfection. My works will contain numerous drafts that are edited, re-edited, and reviewed by creative writing professors at Mason.
2) Each day I will submit journal entries to an undisclosed web blog which will contain my every thought and idea in literary terms. These brainstorms will be printed out and interrelated each week in order to create such perfected digital writings.
3) I will submit more journal entries. For one to express is the only way to success.
4) Every word and definition will be memorized from Webster's and
5) I will listen to how-to-become-a-better-writer self-help cassette tapes in my sleep. Information soaks into your brain while you sleep.
6) Plagiarism will be avoided at all costs, so that my ideas and works will be original and unique, unlike most modern artists.
7) Again, clichés will be avoided! I cannot stress this enough. Any cliché that arises in my writings will be disposed of within seconds of reviews and edits.
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